I'm small, I know...

I've had a lot of emotions/feelings pass through the past month or so. There's been love, lust, enmity, disgust, a lot of irritation/frustration, bliss-filled butterflies, and heartache.

I have realized that emotions are grande. I've been trying to feel them and understand where they come from. I love getting to know myself and growing. Progression is such an amazing thing, even though there are still growing pains involved.

If I'm at all at liberty to offer advice, it would be to always look for ways to progress. Don't try to become perfect all at once because it will not happen, trust me! Discover ways that works best for you. Make things happen. If you want it, don't stress about it. We do need boundaries, but not limitations; does even make sense? We need to follow guidelines but not be so weighed down by things that inhibit us from have the agency we so need and desire.

RW

So remember when I have "Party in the USA" stuck in my head. It's a catchy song, yeah?

You'll never know how much I love you!

The title is a little deceiving. I'm just making a list of things that people probably don't know about me.

1. I have false teeth
2. I hate shaving
3. The toilet paper only goes one way on the roll. Yes, it does!
4. I love cleaning other people's homes.
5. After my sophomore year of high school, I wanted to be a veterinarian assistant. I didn't want to be a veterinarian b/c it took too long in school.
6. After I my senior year in high school, I was going to go to school to be a musical conductor of sorts. But my real desire then, and probably always will be, a musical performer.
7. When I was a kid, I always wanted braces and contacts and thought I never was going to get either and I had to end up getting both.
8. I like road trips but I don't love them.
9. I love an song that I can "belt" to. (If you don't know what "belting" is, please look it up and I'm sure you have done the same thing in your own car. )
10. I love analog clocks. Any and all will usually works.
11. I love picture frames.
12. I could have my feet massaged and/or my head scratched for hours and enjoy it.
13. I love collecting different versions of songs that I like; especially Over the Rainbow.
14. Have way too many pet peeves to mention in one post.
15. I love recording songs of me singing but really do not like listening to myself.
16. I love four part male harmony.
17. I have moved on average at least once a year since I was born.
18. The year I came home from my mission, I moved 3 times plus helped my parents move.
19. I am three years, three months, and three days younger than my only sibling.
20. I'm addicted to my laptop.
21. I'd rather have room temperature water most of the time.
22. When I feel like I'm going to throw up, I crave hot Diet Coke.
23. When I was a kid and I was running around a lot, I'd also crave Diet Coke.
24. I don't like anything with artificial sugar.
25. I've been lactose intolerant since birth.
26. I secretly wish for a full head of hair.
27. I LOVE Celine Dion's voice.
28. My closet is organized by types of clothes. i.e. pants, sweaters, polo shirts.
29. I have so many t-shirts that I rotate them in my drawers when I do laundry.
30. I HATE wearing shoes.
31. I can't wear socks to bed and keep them on all night. Undoubtedly they will be kicked off before morning light; consciously or subconsciously.
32. If I could, I would sleep in the nude on most nights.
33. I'd prefer to deck out in pants and a sweater to go to bed just to have the window open and a fan on. I love it to be cold when I go to sleep.
34. I miss so much about Colorado.
35. My mother and sister can make me cry when they sing.
36. Seeing a woman in a white dress is breathtakingly emotional.
37. I think more people need to be less dependent on their cell phones.
38. I've said the F word when someone cut me off the other day. This has never happened ever before!
39. I can drink a gallon of water and still be thirsty.
40. I wanted to go a mission ever since I was baptized.
41. I love the turrets scene from Deuce Bigalow.
42. I love the movie Friday. "You ain't got ta lie Craig."
43. I love soul food.
44. I love women with red hair and green eyes.
45. I have several VHS tapes from my high school of Musicals I was in.
46. I LOVE big dogs.
47. I want a lot of kids.
48. I have a Bass Pro pillow I got from a family while I was on my mission. I sleep with it every night.
49. I can't stand central heating but I love space heaters in the bathroom during winter.
50. I am OCD and HAD to end this at 50. K, maybe you knew about the OCD.

B'in

I need to vent.

Life has become very difficult. I have two relatives in my life who chose not to communicate. The assume by texting/emailing, they are communicating. This is not good. Whatever happened to the milk man, the paper, the evening TV and people who said their peace and moved on with life? Is it that hard to look at someone and say, "I'm not happy about that." The other person say, "I'm sorry you feel that way." and then both of them move on with life? Did I just gain this obscene sense of that is how life is supposed to work? Did I miss the part in heaven where we all fought with each other and said, "I'll love you and get along with you as long as ______________" No. We are family. We love each other. I've been through a lot as a human being. I have had a lot of trials and am able to still pick my ass up and keep moving. Why can't people just get along. What happened to the words "I forgive you" and "I understand"? I'm sure I'm not really making sense and who cares.

Also, why do we compare ourselves to others so frequently. I'm my own person. Even my companion from my mission called me "One of a Kind." We are all individuals with a single purpose. We need to be striving to return to our Father. He wants us with Him so desperately. I feel that need He has for us; or at least the need I have for Him. But it's a sad day when we all say, "But that family is so much better." Or "their relationship is so much better than ours." Or "Why can't it be like it use to be." I wish for those things to sometimes, but it's not that simple. We have to look forward and move on. Nothing is definite. Progression is the key to salvation!

I die without you.

My sickness is coming to a close, but it's definitely taking its sweet precious time to leave. I really feel I have a virus that never actually died. Do they die? It could die. I'd be ok with it. I might even send it flowers and perhaps sing if it'd like. I keep picturing the virus from that move with Bill Murray. I know it's not the most ideal roommate, but I'd have a proper farewell for it...if it'd just leave!!!

Today was fairly productive for me. I was able to finish my Christmas shopping and wrap all the presents. There is something about wrapping presents that makes me feel a bit grown up. Plus, when I know that I'm buying presents for my parents with my own money and able to give back to them after they've given me so much, I feel so much better. Although, my mom had a really great idea. We had coin banks growing up; an armadillo and one of Texas. We'd fill them up all year long, the whole family would, and then at Christmas time, we used that money for Christmas presents from me and Ouiser.

I am sick AND tired.

I've been sick now for 6 days. Ugh. I actually feel fine today but I have lot of phlegm in my chest. I use to only get sick for a couple of days a year; normally just one time a year. This year, however, I've been sick 3 times in the same season! I'm actually writing this to let y'all know the amount of medication I've been taking and see what I'm doing wrong. What's weird, is I'm normally the one telling everyone what to take.

I've gone through a bottle of Zicam melt-away cold remedy, box of tissues and a roll of toilet paper (for blowing my nose). I've taken Mucinex DM, Nyquil, Tussinex, Melatonin, EmergenC, Echinecea, and rested a lot. I've sprayed everything I can find with Lysol so no returning sickness and used Burts Bees Wax for my lips when the get dry from breathing through my mouth so much, and for the chapped skin under and around my nose from blowing so much-I think I just rubbed dead skin of my top lip.

I think I finally know the phrase I am sick AND tired.

A new day, bright enough to help me find my way!

I started to write a completely different blog today but it was a little depressing, so I changed it in fear of losing the few readers I already have attracted to my blog. And I thought of some things that make me happy.

Today I'm riding in the car with my cousin, a year younger than I am. She's a little under the weather and we are looking for a place to get some yummy hot chocolate and she says, "I need a Diet Dr. Pepper, a bottle of water and a hot chocolate." Cracked me up!! She's quite funny.

Also, just a little incite on me...I hate forward messages. They annoy me. I think I've been using e-mail for so long that they are mostly the same. Every once in a while, you get a good message. But they are nonetheless distressing. Having said such, I have a great website which sends out a message of the day. It's a way of thinking that says, "live for today. Don't stress about tomorrow and learn from your past." Sounds familiar? Anyway, please go here and sign up for the e-mail. Try them out and read them. They are quite inspiring.

I really had a great weekend with my parents for Thanksgiving. It, of course, was not ideal-never is. I wish our whole family could have been there. I also wish there wasn't a fight over the deviled eggs. BUT, it was fun to relax and have a nice weekend with them. It hasn't happened in a long time and this was nice.

I recently grew a goatee. Actually, I grew a whole beard, like a do every week, and then carved a goatee. I'm not sure if I'll keep it up.

Ok, thanks for listening to my rambling. It's so refreshing to release.